As I walked around the corner there stood a silly little squirrel. I know what your thinking. Squirrels have got to be the cutest and most comical creatures on the planet. Do you have a bird feeder? Ever watch a silly gray squirrel attempt to get into the squirrel-proof feeder. I know damn well they look that thing and say, “Challenge, accepted.” And accept it they do. From sun up until sun down, squirrels will try every trick in their book. Then they often go and ask their friends to help them out until they crack the code and gain access to the sweet meats inside. It’s about the cheapest form of entertainment around.
I was walking through a local feed store the other day, and an entire wall longer than my house was full of nothing but bird feeders. Every shape, size, color, and function imaginable was there. Mind you, they weren’t really designed to feed birds They were designed to keep out squirrels, and hopefully feed the birds. That’s all they really do. They discourage squirrels, but don’t keep them out. Squirrels can spend days on end, tirelessly working to gain access into your bird feeder. You can bet then, that making their way into your attic is a walk in the park. After filling your belly with hard won seeds, wouldn’t you like a nice soft bed of insulation to lay in? We all would.
That’s why the decision was made to get into the bird feeder business. Starting soon you will be able to get your very own Maine Wildlife Management bird feeders. Complete with a greased pole, rope drawbridge, metal cone funnel, and catapult launching spring broad to send those foolish squirrels into the neighbors yard. If your going to try to feed birds, you might as well have some fun with it. Right? What friendly neighbor wouldn’t enjoy putting on a hardhat as they run to the car in the morning, for fear of death from above para-squirrels. It could be a new game and way to become more neighborly. Yes, sign up now and have the most fun in your backyard you could have since that 4th of July blowout last year. Limited quantities, order now before their sold out!
Disclaimer: Because Maine Wildlife Management bird feeders are so effective at discouraging squirrels, don’t be surprised if they become agitated, frustrated, and annoyed with you. Common reactions to squirrel proof bird feeders may include: increased activity on your roof, broken acorn shells in your cars engine compartment, random squirrels in your pantry, a gigantic nest in your attic where your Christmas ornaments used to be, and increased activity at any hour of the day or night in your homes walls. MaineWildMan.com recommends you consult with your Wildlife Control Agent before starting any squirrel hazing program to avoid future problems.